It’s a sunny day here in Kentucky. Reports of a possible storm sometime during this race may hamper the mood at Democratic Downs. We’re seeing a decent turnout here at the primary race. The pimps, whores, hustlers, and general riff-raff that make up the DNC have crowded the infield, waiting for post time.
The candidates are approaching the gate, as we wait for what most consider a perfunctory leg to the eventual crowning of the Anointed One. The candidates are in the gate. And now we await the bell.
And they're off! The Anointed One sprints out of the gate. Uncommitted close on his heels. The Anointed One is laughing and mocking the field. This could be a cake walk. But wait. Here comes Uncommitted! Uncommitted is making his move! Uncommitted is gaining in the backstretch! Uncommitted is pulling even!
The Anointed One is driving Uncommitted in the rails. His jockey Main Stream Media is whipping Uncommitted. This should be a disqualifier folks! Uncommitted is faltering! Uncommitted is falling back! And the Anointed One wins by a nose.
We are waiting for confirmation from the booth. What a disgrace. Main Stream Media again used reprehensible, if not illegal tactics to win another race. It should be a disqualifier. Wait, here is the decision. And of course, the Anointed One is the winner.
The owners of the Anointed One are breathing a sigh of relief. The Democratic Party, a well established farm known for fixing races, are beaming with pride.
Let’s listen in on the jockey and the owners of the Anointed One in the winner’s circle.
Main Stream Media: “It was a close race. Uncommitted came out of nowhere. He is an unknown quantity. I’m pretty sure he and his team is bunch of racist. There can be no other explanation on how this guy got so close to our thoroughbred.”
A voter ask, “What about the whipping? Shouldn’t the Anointed One be disqualified for that?”
Mainstream Media indignantly responds, “Eric Holder is the judge of this race. And he has determined that we are the winners. Besides, Uncommitted and his team are just a bunch of racist, undeserving of any consideration.”
And there you have it folks. The Anointed One once again wins another questionable race.