Government officials are becoming a little touchy
even in courtrooms. A prosecutor in
Williamson County, Tennessee filed a motion to stop a defense lawyer from
calling them “the government” in court.
They believe it was being used in a derogatory manner. It was.
So in response, this awesome attorney filed the
following motion:
He demanded his client no longer be
referred to as “the Defendant,” but instead be called “Mister,” “the Citizen
Accused” or “that innocent man” — since all defendants are presumed innocent
until a judge or jury finds them guilty. As for himself, clearly “lawyer” or
“defense attorney” wouldn’t do him, well, justice.
“Rather, counsel for the Citizen Accused
should be referred to primarily as the ‘Defender of the Innocent.’ …
Alternatively, counsel would also accept the designation ‘Guardian of the
Realm,’ ” Justice wrote.
And since prosecutors are often referred
to formally as “General” in court, Justice, in an effort to be flexible,
offered up a military title of his own. “Whenever addressed by name, the name
‘Captain Justice’ will be appropriate.”
Gathering steam, he went on to say that
even “the defense” wasn’t adequate and that “the Resistance” would be far more
appropriate.
He then concluded his motion, returning
to the formal language of court documents — sort of.
“WHEREFORE, Captain Justice, Guardian of the
Realm and Leader of the Resistance, primarily asks that the Court deny the
State’s motion, as lacking legal basis.”
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