'Twas the Congress Before Christmas

By T.L. Coston

‘Twas the Congress before Christmas and all through the House

Establishment Republicans were stirring along with the louts;

Teat Squawkers gathered in the halls, all fret with care

In the hopes that staffers would grant them taxpayer wares

Citizens were soothed by the midterm elections

As visions of prosperity danced in their direction

Then I and my fellow Americans settled down for a long, holiday cheer

Busying ourselves with family, friends and maybe a beer

When on Fox News there rang such a clatter

I leaped from my couch to see what was the matter

Away to the T.V.  I made a dash

Grabbed the remote and gave it a blast

Statuary Hall was full of buzz

As reporters and politicians mugged about

Cameras and lights filled the place

While media whores pan-caked their face

D.C. courtesans rushed around in delight,

“Good news! The federal government has a green light!”

The House passed Cromnibus with the president’s help

A whopping $1.8 trillion will give you a yelp!

And so the D.C. Establishment wins again

As Americans are saddled with $18 trillion in debt

So enjoy your holidays the best you can

Just remember we’re too stupid to understand

File away another fiscal year

Please…please don’t shed a tear

Republicans say another election has to be won

And so the campaign must go on

So envision a distant capitol with no care, or class

They are wiping their asses with all of our cash

And from the White House they stand and cheer,

“Screw you, voters!  And your Happy New Year!”