A Muslim, a Cowboy and an Indian

Three strangers strike up a conversation in an airport lounge in Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights.

One is an American Indian, passing thru from Lame Deer. Another is a cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show. And the third is a fundamentalist Arab student from the Middle East, newly arrived at Montana State University.

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around and the old windsock is flapping, but still no plane comes.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly speaks. “At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, “Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"

The Montana cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth, and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a drawl, “That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'".

H/T:  Ray via email

Russians Mock Obama Administration

It’s official.  The Obama administration has become the world’s fool.  We knew these guys were a joke a long time ago.  Now it’s common knowledge.

Source:

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2014/03/russian-deputy-pm-laughs-at-obamas-sanctions/

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/russian-pol-snarks-at-obama-sanctions?utm_content=buffer0146a&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Please Be Careful This Holiday Season

With the holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my family & friends about drinking and driving.  As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" or out with friends.

Well, three days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails, followed by some rather nice red wine.  Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be over the limit.  That's when I did something that I've never done before ...  I took a cab home! 

 Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a cab they waved it past.  I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real relief and surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it!!!

H/T:  Ray via email

Obama Searches for a Call Girl

"LONG LIVE THE REDHEADS!"

Obama was looking for a call girl.

He found three such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.

To the blonde he said, I am the President of the United States.

Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?'

She replied, '$200.'

To the brunette he asked the same question.

Her reply was $100.

He then asked the redhead.

Her reply was:

"Mr. President, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes,
My panties as low as my wages,
Get that thing of yours as hard as the times we are living in,
And keep it rising like the price of gas,
Keep me warmer than it is in my apartment and
Screw me the way you have retirees,
Then you can have it for free, like the immigrants."

H/T: Ray

Unionized Brothels

I found this joke on the Gates of Vienna blog.  I had a good laugh and just had to lift it.  I might add that it is quite timely considering  the conflict between public employee unions and the states:

A dedicated Teamsters Union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the legal brothels in Nevada .


When he got to the first one, he asked the Madame, “Is this a union house?”


“No,” she replied, “I’m sorry, but it isn’t.”


“Well, if I pay you $100, what do the girls get?”


“The house gets $80 and the girls get $20,” she answered.


Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madame responded, “Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules.”


The man asked, “And, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?”


“The girls get $80 and the house gets $20,” she replied.


“That’s more like it!” the union man said. He handed the Madame $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde.


“I’d like her,” he said.


“I’m sure you would, sir,” said the Madam, “but…”


She gestured to a 72-year old woman in the corner.


“…Ethel here has 50 years seniority, and according to union rules, she’s next.”

A Joker Parodys The Joke in D.C

And the ultimate joke is on the American people.