Monday, December 22, 2014

'Twas the Congress Before Christmas

By T.L. Coston

‘Twas the Congress before Christmas and all through the House
Establishment Republicans were stirring along with the louts;
Teat Squawkers gathered in the halls, all fret with care
In the hopes that staffers would grant them taxpayer wares

Citizens were soothed by the midterm elections
As visions of prosperity danced in their direction
Then I and my fellow Americans settled down for a long, holiday cheer
Busying ourselves with family, friends and maybe a beer

When on Fox News there rang such a clatter
I leaped from my couch to see what was the matter
Away to the T.V.  I made a dash
Grabbed the remote and gave it a blast

Statuary Hall was full of buzz
As reporters and politicians mugged about
Cameras and lights filled the place
While media whores pan-caked their face

D.C. courtesans rushed around in delight,
“Good news! The federal government has a green light!”
The House passed Cromnibus with the president’s help
A whopping $1.8 trillion will give you a yelp!

And so the D.C. Establishment wins again
As Americans are saddled with $18 trillion in debt
So enjoy your holidays the best you can
Just remember we’re too stupid to understand

File away another fiscal year
Please…please don’t shed a tear
Republicans say another election has to be won
And so the campaign must go on

So envision a distant capitol with no care, or class
They are wiping their asses with all of our cash
And from the White House they stand and cheer,

“Screw you, voters!  And your Happy New Year!”

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