Sunday, March 23, 2014

Revolution: It Starts With Toilet Paper

The wonders of modern day plumbing, we all take it for granted.  Hardly anyone stops to think and appreciate the porcelain throne.  If you’re like me, once that door shuts, it’s time to do business.  This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no foolin around.  It’s game time! 

Others will disappear for hours.  Those people I don’t understand.  What are they doing in there, appreciating the ambiance?  Are they planning to redecorate?  What could they possibly be doing that could take up that much time?  Could it be long term financial planning?

But no matter what our proclivities are, all of us know what it’s like when there’s no toilet paper.  First reaction is surprise, followed by despair, and finally anger.  Now experience that realization every day.  It would be enough to start a revolution.  And indeed, that’s what’s happening in Venezuela.  The plebeians have had enough of chapped asses.  They want toilet paper, even if it’s the kind that turns your rump into Peter Cottontail.

It seems that Latin Americas second most revered religion is the Goddess Socialism.  Once the populace discover the wonders of everything “free,” they come to find out their goddess wants sacrificial offerings, such as private property, self-determination, and finally the staples of life.  Yes, Goddess Socialism can be a real bitch.  Or better yet, liberalism’s new word de jour:  bossy.  Look at the lines these people have to endure just to get the basics in life.

Did you notice there wasn’t one portable toilet anywhere along those lines?  I guess those in charge decided since there wasn't any toilet paper to be had, what difference does it make?  Hillary Clinton anyone?


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